The Man Behind the Curtain

I wish I could dance on a single prayer.
I wish I could be strong without somebody there.

-Scheiβe, Lady Gaga

I almost cried on Tuesday.

In public, on the 2 train, I almost shed a few tears.

Mind you, I haven’t cried in many years.

In fact, my next scheduled crying session

Was meant to be on my graduation.

It was a bizarre moment indeed. I was listening to Sheiβe by Lady Gaga which is a headbanger Europop song from her new album (available on iTunes). It’s not a Taylor Swift “Teardrops on My Guitar” where she literally sings about crying as she plays her guitar (typical). No, Sheiβe is upbeat and empowering. 

It also speaks to my two biggest insecurities. I started this post with two lines that resonate with me. 

MTA promoting paranoia.

I wish I could dance on a single prayer  (not a literal prayer, that’s blasphemous) - and act on my internal desires. I often tell myself at parties “if you want something, do something” but I don’t do. I don’t do me. 

This inhibition ties into the 2^nd line which resonates even more with me. 

I wish I could be strong without somebody there. 

I find it easy to be confident in front of people. I can dispel that aurora of “I know what I want and I’m working to get it”. It’s easy to adorn that persona and yet in the privacy of my thoughts I wear a different esteem garment. That dual confidence permeates into some aspects of my life-like relationships, and prevents me, I think, from viewing myself as a viable partner for someone. 

Real self-confidence is a solitary endeavor that involves you and only you. I’ve gotten better. Lord knows in elementary and high school, I did not have a high self-esteem. I was teased for being too dark and too smart. I now forever believe that black is beautiful and  intelligence allows people to make power life moves. 

I am eternally grateful to have attended Yale where I was forced to accept myself. We R who we R and it doesn’t hurt that at Yale and at home we have people who love us for being none other but ourselves. My friends are everything to me and I am blessed to have gotten close to the people I have. Thank you Yale.

As cheesy as it sounds, Gaga has helped me come to terms with 100% of myself. That last frontier. I don’t live in regret anymore. I was born this way baby.  

CHIDI: Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the great one of them all?

MAGIC MIRROR: Why you are Chidi.

CHIDI: Ugh, I know *flips hair* 

J 

I have this problem when I cry, on the few times my tear ducts produce tears. This is embarrassing to admit but here it goes.

When I cry, I can’t help but picture myself in an Oscar Award winning movie and my character is going through immense personal strugs. 

Crying soldier = Best Actor role

I picture the camera man zooming onto my face and sad classical music playing in the background. Sometimes I even try to simulate the single tear. Everyone knows that's the fastest track to winning fans’ hearts.

At first it seems ridiculous that I do this, and it is. But try it sometime. You’ll feel better  because it makes that portion of your life seem like a movie clip. You watch it, feel the emotion it elicits, and keep it moving. You have other award winning scenes to perform. 

Fashion. Put it all on me. Don't you want to see these clothes on me. 

-Fashion, Lady Gaga

So, I have a teenage drama queen confession.

I once posted on Yale FML and got 74 likes. Here is the comment:

"Missing: Spring. Last seen in 2010. If found please call 203-I WANT TO WEAR CUTE CLOTHING. FOL"

Perhaps the post was a bit dramatic but everyone knows that summer clothing > winter clothing. 

The weather this year was unrelentingly a mess. I remember one morning looking outside, seeing the snow for a 4^th time, and thinking "when did my life become set in an 18^th century gothic romantic novel?”  

How Yale's residential colleges look in the snow.

Then I pictured myself gazing outside a castle window with a blank stare. The director tells me more emotion. More! I shed a single tear.  Close my eyes. Clutch the crumpled handwritten letter in my hand with deep seated agony. My facial expression is that of caged ancient suffering. I take a prolonged deep...sorry. I got carried away. 

The weather did spur me to buy these delicious boots.  I feel manly wearing them. I feel like a lumberjack. 

My secret weapon for getting up science hill

So despite lumberjack boots, colorful hats, and cute gloves, cold wet weather hampers creative expression in fashion. Take a look at this picture for example. We are essentially dressed the same. 

Peacoat +  Hat = Winter wear

At Yale, we once had 2 days of nice weather where the temp reached 50ºC and everyone busted out summer dresses and flip flops. The campus was colorful and peppier. The trees decided that it was time to do their leaf thing and squirrels were even more freakishly rampaging through campus.

A quick word on squirrels:

Disgusting vermin.

The scene looked like this. 

Sophomore year, (I’ll never forget this) a squirrel invaded my common room, located my Skippy Peanut Butter, chewed through the cap and had the audacity to EAT my Peanut Butter. It did not pay for my peanut butter. It did not ask to enter my room. Heck, it wasn’t even a member of my species. 

WHO did this squirrel think it was? I had to teach it a lesson. I had to! This squirrel and its hungry relatives needed to know that you don’t mess with Chidi. My middle name is Crusher of Squirrel Dreams 

(actually Daniels). 

So I placed some of my now inedible peanut butter onto a plate and added sugar, spice, and nothing else nice. I purposefully added an extra ingredient to the concoction. Chemical X.

I had smuggled a few tablets (50 actually) of NaOH from lab and crushed it up into fine pieces. I sprinkled it on a plate of peanut butter and mixed it up real well. I may have done an evil laugh. In fact, I did. 

I then left it outside on my ledge and haven’t seen the squirrel since. I’m proud to say 

Homo Sapiens 1. Rodentia Sciuridae 0.

If more people did this type of important reconnaissance work the squirrels at Yale and the pigeons of NYC wouldn't be so rude. We have to take back our land Homo Sapiens. When did it become okay for squirrels to enter rooms? When did it become custom for pigeons not to fly away as you approach them? I literally have to change my walking trajectory to avoid these flying rats. These animals are truly too comfortable and its time we stop their encroachment onto human society. 

Back to fashion.

I love it. It’s in my jeans. Here’s a sample of the looks I’ve went through:

Haut trash couture.

.

Boys who grew up on Idaho farms. 

Dean pan.

And my all time favorite. I wore this outfit to high school and thought I looked good.

Who was I? Literally.

I may have been a repeat fashion offender. All part of growing up. 

Some notable looks I strived for: 

Urban preppy cool

Farm boy chic

Whore. 

(honestly who doesn't from time to time?)

And the moment you've all been waiting for...The Look for Senior Year is

Egyptian royalty meets Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Just kidding. That makes no sense. I am still figuring out what The Look will be. Do know that it’ll be heavily inspired by chains, trinkets, and colors. I want to push the envelope.  To quote an insightful line anyone dressing themselves should follow.  

You can do it your way, but don’t get crazy. 

                                                              –Bon Qui Qui

Unless you're Lady Gaga. She’s allowed to have complicated orders. 

And with that, I leave you with the picture below. Judas inspired.

Till Death Do Us Part,

Chidi “Crusher of Squirrel Dreams” Akusobi

Website of the day:

http://www.reddit.com/r/firstworldproblems/

Real World Problems: A site dedicated to the inconsequential problems we people in developed nations face: ie my whole blog entry today.

Favorite entry: “My co-worker didn’t refill the Brita Jug, so I had to drink tap water like an animal."

Priceless.  

I Don’t Speak MicroBio But I Can if You Like

Early morning. 

I wake up. 

There’s a ring ring ring on my phone. 

The time is 4:30AM and my third alarm, “Judas”, is blasting into my left ear. For anyone who’s been my roommate, they know that I have an endless stream of alarms meant to combat my body’s urge to get more sleep. I’m proud to say my alarms win that war during school. Technology > Biology...cept not. 

Upon hearing Ju-DA Ju-DA A A , I begrudgingly get up.

Shower with Old Spice Shampoo (don’t you wish you smelled like me).

Brush my teeth with Colgate whitening toothpaste.

Eat 3 slices of Oscar Meyer turkey.

Drink 2 cups of Oceanspray CBJ. 

Delicious. 

And enter a burgundy Toyota Sienna minivan with my rents.  

This morning is reminiscent of the Lost Season 2 premiere. No? 

We leave our house at 5:15AM.

Sixteen minutes later we arrive at LaGuadria Airport, the ugly little sister of JFK International.

And so began my trip to the American Society for Microbiology 2011 General Meeting. 

Traveling through New Orleans, you can definitely see signs that the city struggles with water. The city is below sea level and employs a network of levees and pumps to keep the Mississippi and Gulf of Mexico out. Mankind > Nature...cept not. 

Used to play for hours and hours. I could design Utopia.

Every other building in New Orleans was a hotel. There were also lots of restaurants and bars. New Orleans is definitely a city fueled by tourism. I don’t know how to describe NOLA. I guess New Orleans would be a city a novice Sim City player would create if he were more concerned with making money than adequate city planning. 

My airport shuttle dropped me off at the hotel and I immediately thought, “what is this janky building?” The hotel was really nice though and I appreciated the complimentary WiFi. The first thing I did when I got to my room.  

Facebook.com

The 2nd thing

Gagadaily.com

And the 3rd. 

Play Hair on iTunes.

Now that I had made myself feel at home, it was time to go to my first conference event. At the Presentation Institute I met the other 50 fellows in my program for a 2 day session on networking and career advice.

I sit down at a table of my peers. I introduce myself. 

“Hi everyone, My name is Chidi Akusobi and I’m a rising senior from Yale University.” I flash a replica of my Julia Roberts smile and do a generic wave. 

Kinda like this. 

A blonde haired girl then points at an adjacent empty table says

“You should sit over there”

The table laughs. I do too. Except it was one of those laughs that mask awkwardness or a social faux pas. She was joking yes but she might as well have said “YOU CAN’T SIT HERE!”

The conference officially started on Saturday and went on till Tuesday. Guys. The conference was amazing. Nothing in my life has felt so academically right. Some of the poster and talks I attended impassioned me to the point that I wanted to apply to graduate school straight.  I heard the top scientists speak about issues ranging from antibiotic resistance, microbial communities, co-evolution, and bacteriophage technology.

For those of you who don’t know, I research in the Dept. of E&EB and the goal of my project is to evolve a bacteria virus, PP01 to be more lethal on the food-borne pathogenic E. coli O157:H7. My goal is to go to graduate school and hopefully do work utilizing bacteriophages as a new technology against antibiotic resistance.

My Halloween costume this year. 

I’ve included one of my favorite science pictures. It’s a T-even phage attaching onto an E. coli’s cell surface. It’s beautiful. Look at how perfectly adapted the virus’ morphology is for infection. 

Microbial Drama. Season 1 Episode 1 Let’s go! This will beat Glee!...cept not. 

Perhaps I’m a holy fool for being suddenly so dead set on this topic. But I believe in Obama’s statement “the fierce urgency of now.” If you’ve felt that inner drive before, all you want to do is type in a location, Google map: directions, and go baby go!

And so I will. I have the vision, know the path, and must now walk down that science brick road. Hopefully along the way I collect cash monies, a multi-million dollar house, and an Oscar. Don’t worry, you’re all invited to my dinner parties.

I presented my poster on Tuesday. In short, the 1.75 hours we were allotted flew by. I talked to the top profs. who do similar research and they all thought I was a graduate student! It’s a great feeling to know that your research is validated and valued by other scientists.  

Gabby, the graduate student presenting next to me, told me that the world is my oyster.

And she’s right. We are all born destined to be leaders and nothing less. Unfortunately, some students are derailed by subpar education systems or unproductive family situations. And that leads me to another major goal of my life.

Teaching and Education. I will only be happy if I’m involved in the education of underrepresented students especially in science. I would not be at Yale, attending ASM conferences, or even considering graduate school if not for the Prep for Prep program. I hope we all find ways to give back in some capacity when we become leaders. Cornel West says that the difference between being successful and great is service.

Let’s shoot to be great. Let's strive to be extra-extraordinary individuals that leave lasting legacies of superb service for the betterment of peoples less fortunate. 

Year of the Future starts now (well officially in Jan. 1 2011)

In solidarity,

Chidi Daniels Akusobi

Abbreviation of the Day: VOM

Short for vomit.

Real life usages


 “I am projectile vom-ing right now.” 
-KM 


"I will VOM all over your face" 
-KH 

Pilot Part I

5

4

3

2

1

And we’re live from New Orleans tonight. It’s a humid 78ºC degrees outside, partly cloudy, with a slight breeze due north-northwest. Here’s the magnificent view of The Big Easy from my hotel window.

And the mighty Mississippi meandering through the cityscape…

I should state a little bit about who I am (asl?) before discussing my experiences in NOLA. For those of you who don’t know, NOLA stands for New Orleans LouisianA. I thought this was a neighborhood at first, like NOHO in Manhattan, but alas my NYC cultural elitism failed me…for the first time :)

Welcome to my blog!

Kooro Ixasolo is my Chidish name if you are curious.

Chidish is a language.

Yes I am fluent in it.

No it is not ghetto English.

Yes it is named after me (I was 12).

Now we are all on the same page.

I am 20 years old and in the class of 2012 at Yale University. I’m in the illustrious, awe-inspiring Saybrook College where we are served the most delicious meals on campus. Haters please fall back.

My favorite color is Navy Blue. My favorite color scheme is Navy Blue + White . My least favorite color is purple (VOM). I do not like motile animals. I love peanut butter. I hate incompetence and I’m 5 feet 9.5 inches tall. I’m from Nigeria, live in the Bronx, and am enamored with transportation systems. I’ll rep the BX 12 Select Bus Service all day. Seriously.

This is by my stop!

I attended the Horace Mann School, Class of 2008, and am a Contingent XXIV member of the best education program, Prep for Prep. I love the concept of destiny which is what the background picture represents. The image shows destiny as what I envision it as,  the final, pristine, perfect end place of life's sinuous path.

Some may call me an Ecology and Evolutionary (E&EB) major. I am proud of it. I am obsessed with evolution and revolution, mechanisms of change and the backdrop in which change occurs. If given the power to condense the forces affecting the history of life into two pills, one red, one blue, I’d chose sister fields: Ecology and Evolution. 

Which would you chose?

My biggest creative inspirations are undoubtedly Lost and Lady Gaga. My blog will be an imperfect marriage of these two cultural phenomena. And in keeping with true Lost fashion, you, the reader, have probably already missed 4 references to Lost and Lady Gaga that I’ve used so far.

Pilot Part I, the name of my inaugural post, is the first episode of Lost. I’ve also bolded the numbers 5 and 23. May 23^rd   (today) is the date Lady Gaga’s 2^nd studio album, Born This Way, drops. (The album is available at your nearest music vendor. Buy it so Lady Gaga can beat Adele and debut #1 on album sales hehe)

Did you  notice the quote “BTW. It only ends once”? This line encapsulates a significant portion of my life philosophy. You might have guessed, BTW stands for Born This Way and “it only ends once” is a quote from a mythical-biblical Lost character.

Lost?

Good. You’re on the right track baby.

I will discuss what those lines mean to me in later posts. In general, my entries will include subtle and overt pop culture references. Catch them if you can.

And if you can’t, ask a friend. Who? IDK, your BFF Jill :)

I am excited about writing a blog and am looking forward to sharing my thoughts and experiences. During freshman year, I bluntly asked a friend who had just started a blog “what makes you think you’re special enough to blog?” Her answer: she wasn’t. No one is. She’s just a girl. And I’m just a boy.

And she made it all the more obvious that blogging is an exercise of interweb self-expression. My blog will be exactly that. I’m excited to use it as a digital canvas where I expend creative energy and expound on personal philosophies and experiences.

So who am I? That’s one question this blog will try to answer. I know you'll love me. xoxo...

In all serious though, I sincerely hope that you'll like my blog.

Thanks for reading and do subscribe. Be my biggest fans.

Love,

Chidi Daniels Akusobi.

Song of the Week:  Hair

Hair is a song about liberating oneself from self-imposed, parental, and societal judgment. We should all strive to be as free as our hair unless of course you’re bald. Strug.